Why NOT me?

Yesterday after happy hour with a few girlfriends I came home and cornered Mr. Brouwers on the couch. I started crying and asking all those questions with no answers “why me?” and then I followed it with a “it’s not fair” and he of course responded by pretty much telling me that I was being irrational (which I was) but that was the LAST thing I wanted to hear.

In the light of day I know that I was being irrational and pretty much ALL my thoughts around my miscarriage and ttc are irrational.

It’s only being 8 months since we started this journey.

25% of pregnancies end in a miscarriage

There are people that have been TRYING for years and still don’t have their miracle – Who am I to complain?

As the next few months are going to be very telling about our journey to parenthood I am going to try my hardest to ask the question “Why NOT me” what makes me more deserving of a perfect pregnancy story than the next desperate person trying to conceive. And if I learn this road is going to be a long and bumpy one I will try to hardest to say “why NOT me” because after all He has a plan and I will try my hardest to use Him to make greatness out of whatever is handed to me.

Why NOT me?

The Screen Went Blank

Mr. Brouwers and I have been trying to have a baby for months....7 to be exact. 7 may seem like nothing but to a woman that is desperate to see those two little lines it feels like a lifetime. The day that we saw "Pregnant" flash up on the digital test was exciting yet so unbelievable. We both cautiously celebrated and shared with people that we felt needed to know. A few days later I noticed my beautiful "Pregnant" test went blank. Little did I know that this was a sign of what was to come.

Here a lay empty...babyless...sad