Guilt

Lately I've been feeling this overwhelming sense of guilt that I'm pregnant and so many woman that want to be aren't. I even get scared to tell people because I worry that they might be struggling and I don't want to hurt them. Mike and I go back and forth about the "facebook" announcement because I don't want anyone to feel like they just got punched in the gut when they see it. I thank the Lord for blessing me with this pregnancy and I feel so honored that he has chosen me to be a mother and I know that I really just need to get over this guilt thing. I suppose the best gift I can give anyone struggling with infertility is to not take anything for granted and do my best to enjoy the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to my pregnancy and raising our child.



Please let me know if you have or know of anyone with infertility pray request.

12 Weeks

How Far Along? 12 Weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss: Down 2

Moment of the Week: Hearing the heartbeat

Food Craving: None

Food aversions: None but have a hard time preparing raw chicken and the fridge makes me gag.

Morning sickness: Puking every morning but feel better throughout the day

Sleep: Nothing different just have to wake up to go to the bathroom more than I did before.

Gender: n/a

Belly Button: in

What I miss: Deli meat and running. I'm hoping to start feeling better in the morning so I can jog before work.

What I'm looking forward to: the end of my first trimester

Milestones:Weekly Wisdom: babies are tough

Symptoms: lots of peeing, lots of gagging, randomly vomiting :)

Layla Grace

I have, like thousands of other people, been following a little girl named Layla Grace battling stage 4 high risk neuroblastoma. Throughout her fight I've been humbled by her parents attitudes. Not only have the praised and clung to the Lord during the most challenging times of their lives they found a reason and purpose for Layla's condition. Thousands of people written to them saying Layla's story has brought them back to the Lord or has deepened their relationship with God. Imagine all the people this little 2 year old saved.

This afternoon I went to check Layla's website and couldn't log on. I figured that it was due to site traffic because something bad had happened. Unfortunately my hunch was correct. When I check Layla's twitter page it read "Layla went to play with the angels early this morning. Rest in peace precious Layla. 11/26/2007 - 3/9/2010"

I can't even pretend to imagine what this family is going through right now but I do thank them for sharing their story. If you haven't been already please be praying for Layla's parents and 2 sisters.

http://twitter.com/laylagrace

http://laylagrace.org/ (hasn't been working today due to too much traffic)

10 Weeks

How Far Along? 10 Weeks

Total Weight Gained/Loss: Nothing

Moment of the Week: Seeing our little bugger again and hearing the heartbeat for the first time.

Food Craving: None

Food aversions: None but have a hard time preparing raw chicken.

Morning sickness: No longer puking but nausea comes in waves. Nothing too horrible to handle though

Sleep: Nothing different just have to wake up to go to the bathroom more than I did before.

Gender: n/a

Belly Button: in

What I miss: cold turkey sandwiches

What I'm looking forward to: the end of my first trimester

Milestones:

Weekly Wisdom: trust your gut

Symptoms: lots of peeing, lots of gagging, randomly vomiting :)

Another Appointment

On Tuesday I had another doctors appointment. This one was finally my normal "so you're pregnant here is what you should know" kind of visit. I was also spoiled with another ultrasound!!! The little bugger was moving around and you could even see little legs kicking. The baby's heart rate was 185bpm and I am measuring right on schedule. The doctor said at this point there is a 95% chance that things will move forward. I'm finally starting to feel like this might really be happening :)

Hello March

Hello March it's nice to see you again!

Things to look forward to in March

• St. Patty's Day
• Larry P's Birthday
• Quinn's Birthday
• Mr. Brouwer's SR Birthday
• The end of my first trimester
• Snow melting (hopefully)
• Only four weekends which makes for a budget friendly month :)